Behind the Zines is our weekly series of zine readings by queer zine makers, and our fourth episode featuring Eva Monxy is out today!

I found a way to make you cry by Eva Monxy is a beautifully illustrated zine and was selected by one of our cataloguing volunteers. The zine is a heartwrenching playlist, featuring a soundtrack of songs to cry to with descriptions of the type of crying they produce. In the zine Monxy talks about crying and masculinity, growing up queer and weird and working through how to be authentic with emotions after looking to be saved by cinema. Monxy talks about imprinting themselves on Ducky, Christian Slater, River Phoenix, and the entire cast of My So-Called Life, letting fictional characters carry the weight of what they wanted. The zine takes its cues from a cinematic soundtrack, prompting an emotional response, recounting songs to cry to and feel a real sense of self.

Eva Monxy is doing its best, mostly. Can be found on dancefloors, in the park with mates, or making something weird and queer. Instagram: @skrinkzo

New readings in the Behind the Zines series will be uploaded each week. Each of these zines represents the sometimes secret and always powerful connections which queer zines create. That feeling of being connected to a stranger you’ve never met, a community which feels far away, a place, a song, a feeling, an identity. Each of these zines were selected by queer zine library volunteers and each of us at somepoint have found solace, validation, power, and reassurance from queer zines. These zines have helped us to feel seen, helped us find our way, connected us to each other, and inspired us to make our own zines.